made me a tree

covid vaccine two has officially kicked my ass. i know it will be worth it and i'll be better soon, though. but every time exhaustion sets in, i succumb to weakness and let myself feel my feelings too hard. it's been four months; a third of a year. and i still think of my dad and feel his cold, dead hand in mine first before i force myself to hear his laugh and feel his warmth. 

please don't let this happen to me, universe. use my body any way that could benefit others, and share the rest with the earth with no pretense. maybe plant a tree and let it feed from my minerals. or just sprinkle my bones into the gulf. or shoot me into space. 

life might not have been super easy, but i will be in love with living until the end. that's how i would like people to remember me.