i've been really terrible at keeping up with this. work has been really apeshit; we are shorthanded by two people every day and i have mostly been able to manage it but i've had a couple of really bad flare ups with this body that hates me sometimes and i don't want to complain. but my whole body hurts so bad and i can't afford to take any time off so i'm just kinda managing. but i'm grateful and love my job.
i feel a little lost though. i work really hard to get through each day, and i appreciate that my work fam supports me and has my back, but i'm a softie and it's hard to shake things off sometimes. i had to hold my favorite dog when it was his time to go and his owners couldn't stand to be there. i slow danced to Africa by Toto with him in my arms til it was time for him to go. and he's happy and finally at peace with comfort, but man, it's hard sometimes.
i'm also at this weird place in my life where i feel like i'm just going through the motions and feeling a little lost. i feel like i'm missing something. but i suppose it's a rite of passage. we are the bridge to the next plane sometimes. that helps. but mourning is important too. i say a lot of prayers these days.
